"Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be."
~Wayne Gretzky

"Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect."
~Steve Rushin

"I honestly believe some would have given up their left leg to stop a shot in the third period."
~Milan Gajic

On signing Kjell Samuelsson: "There"s no reason why a player is done at 33, 34. They train better, they eat better, they drink better. This isn"t the old days when everybody sat around and drank beer."
~Bobby Clarke

"We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor."
~Bobby Clarke

"You miss 100% of the shots you never take."
~Wayne Gretzky

"American professional athletes are bilingual; they speak English and profanity."
~Gordie Howe

"A player must be able to skate, have hockey sense, be able to shoot - not necessarily able to score - and have drive."
~Pierre Page

"You can have all the talent in the world, but if the pumper"s not there, it doesn"t matter."
~Glen Sather

"It"s not who wins the fight that"s important, it"s being willing to fight. If you get challenged and renege, everyone wants to take a shot at you."
~Barclay Plager

"Yeah, I"m cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn"t mean I"m not a nice person."
~Jeremy Roenick

"When we"ve got the puck, they can"t score."
~Paul Coffey

"We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don"t even have to go to the hospital."
~Brad Park

"You"ve got to go to the net if you want to score."
~Tom McVie

"Put the kids in with a few old pappy guys who still like to win and the combination is unbeatable."
~Conn Smythe

"I"m not dumb enough to be a goalie."
~Brett Hull

"There are two types of forwards. Scorers and bangers. Scorers score and bangers bang."
~Ken Dryden

Commenting on Flyers GM Bob Clarke"s inability to trade him: "When you ask for the house, car, cat, dog and all the fish when you"re dealing with a player who"s got questions about his health, no GM in his right mind is going to say yes and offer to clean the aquarium, too."
~Eric Lindros

Ron Francis, asking teammate Mario Lemieux what he did to stay in shape in the off season. Lemieux"s response: "I don"t order fries with my club sandwich."

"Hockey"s a funny game. You have to prove yourself every shift, every game. It"s not up to anybody else. You have to take pride in yourself."
~Paul Coffey

Explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That"s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my (expletive) clothes."
~Stu Grimson

On possessing the NHL’s second-longest active playing streak: "It must be the body. It’s chiseled out of marshmallows."
~Tony Amonte

On the importance of the All-Star game: "Winning is always fun, but the car is more important."
~Teemu Selanne

"You don"t have enough talent to win on talent alone."
~Herb Brooks

On his refusal to deal with Keith Primeau: "We refuse to pay a prima donna, a petulant, pouting player who had 30 goals last year the same money as Toronto is paying Mats Sundin or Pittsburgh is paying Jaromir Jagr."
~Peter Karmanos(Carolina Hurricanes owner)

On the trade rumors around captain Keith Tkachuk: "The only difference between the Coyotes and ‘Days of Our Lives’ is that nobody has been shot on our team yet."
~Jeremy Roenick

On his daughter Carrie getting engaged to Alexander Selivanov: "I tried to talk my daughter out of going with a hockey player but, he’s a good kid. He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her. I said: "You want to what?’ I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time."
~Phil Esposito

On his contract negotiations with the Devils: "It’s beyond money at this point. They’re not even treating him as a member of their family, unless it’s a dysfunctional family."
~Kurt Overhardt (Brendan Morrison’s agent)

On Sergei Fedorov’s breaking three sticks on Dallas players: " I don’t know if Anna (Kournikova) told him to get tougher or what."
~Mike Modano

On Yashin’s contract holdout: "Sources also confirm that there is no one left in Canada who can remember when hockey was a simple game, played for fun."
~Roy MacGregor

"We’re looking forward to building the type of team the Rangers are able to buy."
~Bobby Smith

On Ottawa’s come from behind 6-2 win over Toronto: "Some days, the sun even shines on a dog’s butt."
~Wade Redden

When Miroslav Satan puts his credit card out to pay bills, he says "They ask me, "Is this really your name?"" His standard response: "Only in America."

On the new two-referee system: "I think the game has gotten better. (The two-ref system) keeps players from taking cheap shots behind the play. I never thought I"d like it, considering the way I like to hack."
~Brian Skrudland

On his attempt at the Edmonton Oilers empty net: "I guess they respect my shot because they were all ready at the blue line."
~Patrick Roy

Steve Smith: "Part of the learning curve in Edmonton is learning to hate Calgary."

To a reporter after Ray was pounded by Edmonton’s Georges Laraque: "What are you, the fight doctor now or something? You’ve never been in a fight in your life, so what are you talking about?"
~Rob Ray

On playing with a sore ankle: "I just tape four Tylenols to it."
~Boris Mironov

After returning from his stint in the minors made reference to the movie Slapshot with: "I’m happy to be back. It was never my aspiration as a kid to play in the Federal league."
~Glenn Healy

On his IHL time: "One road trip we were stuck on the runway for seven hours. The plane kept driving and driving until we arrived at the rink and I realized we were on a bus."
~Glenn Healy

On playing in the minors: "I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.
~Glenn Healy

On Ziggy Palffy, "(He’s) the most un-athletic looking superstar."
~Mark Janssens

When a sewage line backed up and leaked into the Islanders dressing room: "Actually we’re trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair."
~Roger Newton (Nassau Coliseum general manager)

On Al MacInnis: "You try to squeeze a little more Charmin in the pads when you face him."
~Kevin Hodson

On viewing the site of John F. Kennedy’s assassination in Dallas: "I had to pinch myself seeing the grassy knoll and the book suppository building."
~Trevor Linden

On former Islander Travis Green and his hit on Kenny Jonsson: "He"s a gutless puke, that"s what Travis Green is. That"s why he doesn"t wear an Islander uniform any more."
~Mike Milbury

His four year contract renewal: "As always, I remain hopeful that Don Cherry won’t be offered the same length contract."
~Ron MacLean

"Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive."
~Stephen Leacock

"I know I"m not very popular on Long Island. I don"t know who"s less popular, me or Joey Buttafuoco."
~Don Maloney

In Chicago, having crashed his motorcycle into a car. According to police reports, his blood-alcohol level was more than three times the legal limit and he told officers: "Just charge me with the usual."
~Bob Probert

On being clubbed by Joe Murphy, "It felt like a golf swing and my head was on the tee."
~Tyler Wright

The St. Louis Blues Media Guide was recalled to the tune of a $70,000 loss as the result of a listing in the team record section. It related to the amount of "Oral Satisfaction" that the team got in one game.

On his firing from Montreal, "I have to thank the guy who fired me because he was also the guy who hired me."
~Serge Savard

"At the end of each year I make a list of my mistakes and it"s pretty friggin" long."
~Dean Lombardi

On rookie Alex Selivanov, "Yes the guy can score you 40 goals. Yes I love it. What I don"t want is him causing 60."
~Terry Crisp

"I was a multi-millionaire from playing hockey. Then I got divorced, and now I am a millionaire."
~Bobby Hull

After referees negated a line change that led to Tampa Bay"s winning goal in the Stanley Cup Playoffs: "After all these years in the league, am I that stupid that I would put four forwards and one defenseman in a 3-3 tie, in the third period? I think everybody that knows me here knows I"m not that stupid. I might be halfway stupid, but not that stupid."
~Pat Burns

At the 1974 Stanley Cup Finals: "Win today and we walk together forever."
~Fred Shero

After admiring the Stanley Cup: "This is the only thing that has seen more parties than us."
~Steven Tyler(Aerosmith"s lead singer)

Describing Americans" knowledge of hockey prior to the "Miracle on Ice": "People didn"t know the difference between a blue line and a clothes line."
~Al Michaels

"You"re playing worse every day and right now you"re playing like the middle of next week."
~Herb Brooks

"By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series."
~Steve Rushin

"A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can"t hit one another."
~Jimmy Cannon

"Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept."
~Doug Larson

"Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental."
~Jim McKenny

"How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"
~Jacques Plante

"Hockey is murder on ice."
~Jim Murray

"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
~Rodney Dangerfield


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